But well, that's what happens when you have a little one. I have never made my new year post so late in a long time. They pass as quickly as the good ones, with ease, to be forgotten, a pinprick of sensation in the mind. Not even the gaggle of schoolgirls with a lack of personal space. My aspirations too lofty.Īs if He knew exactly what I needed (which he does), he dropped that phone call in my lap, and I sat in the too-bright senior citizens’ corner, brow furrowing then lifting. I asked myself if my prayers were too assuming. Existing just beyond the senses, beyond the arm can reach the plump fruit dangling, glistening, inches from outstretched fingers. The penalty for competence is more work, they say dryly at the workplace.Īnd it’s true - whoever has will be given more, whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.Ī mystery. You think that just because you’re doing everything right or well it should be easy. Lines of washing, forearms lifted, a turn of the head to see a little almost-toddler grinning up at you, clutching at your legs. I realised what it was even as the words fell out. Perturbed, annoyed, yes, but not troubled. I have not actually felt troubled in a while. It had been a long time, I think, since I felt troubled. To him, and him, sobbing, falling apart in the weathered armchair. The ups and downs, the episodes, it has been so wearying, being strong, I said. ![]() Increasingly, I think it is a grace that humans do not know what comes tomorrow. this came to me when i was walking homeĪnchoring your feet on the dappled floor of the train, swaying as the cabin clacks on its cartridges.Īs a student I fancied myself incredibly stable, always standing feet apart on the LRT, refusing to hold onto a bar or grip pole, trusting in my calves, toes clenching in my school shoes around the bends.
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